Discover the power of building a solid, fulfilling, and free life — through the strength of identity.
Why Do We Lose Ourselves?
In today’s world, it’s common to define ourselves by our titles and positions.
These roles often end up shaping our lives — influencing our choices and decisions — because we act according to the image we hold of ourselves.
That’s understandable. Identity plays a central role in everything we do.
If you don’t know who you are, how can you make the right choices?
Identity goes far beyond words — it defines the direction of your life.
A strong identity builds a life of fulfillment and abundance; a weak one leads to limitation and frustration.
We often see people who build their sense of self on temporary things — like physical appearance, social status, or career success.
Defining yourself that way is building on sand: appearances fade, jobs end, and status is fleeting.
Take athletes, for example.
Many spend their youth identifying entirely with their sport — living as if being an athlete were their whole existence. That identity drives their discipline, shaping behaviors that bring them trophies, recognition, and a deep sense of accomplishment.
But when the career ends and retirement arrives, many face an identity crisis.
The old self no longer fits, and a new reality must be faced.
That’s often when they fall back into unhealthy habits — because the discipline was tied to their role, not to their essence.
To avoid this, it’s essential to anchor your identity in something permanent.
Choose enduring qualities — like being disciplined, consistent, committed, grounded, abundant.
When your identity is rooted in values, your behavior flows naturally from who you are — not from what you want to achieve.
Many people think they’re disciplined, but in truth, they only act disciplined to reach a goal.
And once that goal is achieved, the discipline fades.
That’s why you should never define yourself by a title or position.
They are temporary, and losing them can leave you feeling lost.
Instead, identify with something permanent.
When your identity drives your behavior, change becomes effortless — it’s no longer something you force, it’s simply who you are.
Everything you’ve tried to change but couldn’t…
It’s because you were trying to change the wrong thing.
Change your identity, and you’ll transform your entire life.
Here’s a piece of advice: Redefine your identity.
- “Who am I, really?”
- Write down all the ways you identify yourself.
For example: I’m a father, athlete, a leader, a good listener, a disciplined person, a kind friend.
Include the traits you like and the ones you wish to change.
- Remember: you have the power to reshape your identity.
It’s not just who you are — it’s what you’ve chosen to identify with.
And you can choose differently at any moment.
Choose to identify with something that empowers you.
- Create an identity based on lasting attributes.
For example: I’m a consistent, disciplined, and persevering person.
This way, your identity will be rooted in values that sustain growth.
Even after you reach your goals, you’ll keep practicing the habits that took you there.
- Review your identity regularly.
Make sure it continues to strengthen you.
Adjust or refine what needs to change.
- Keep updating it.
Identities aren’t prisons — they are meant to expand with you.
They should grow as you grow, allowing you to live freely and fully.
Use This Tool to Live with Joy and Freedom
Identity is a powerful ally for a centered and meaningful life.
Use it consciously — to grow, progress, and free yourself from the old habits that once held you back.
The tool is already in your hands. Use it. Strengthen it. Watch your life flourish.
Ask yourself again:
“Does my identity hurt me?”
“Do I feel pain when I look at what I’ve always believed myself to be?”
Know this: you have the power to change it.
You are not fixed — you are what you choose to identify with.
And the best part? You can choose differently — right now.
An invitation:
By subscribing to my newsletter, you’ll be giving me the strength to keep writing and reaching more people. This small gesture can make a big difference — it will bring joy to a soul sincerely striving to make a positive change in the world. Join: https://eltonjoaomesa.com/discipline
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Thank you for reading!
I hope it helped you in some way.
I wish you all the best.
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